How Far Can I Go?

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How far can I go?  Can I find the strength to keep going?  How long can I keep going?

Cancer makes me ponder these questions daily.

News that I have gone back into remission with my new treatment plan should give me the strength to say forever.

Since the beginning of the new year I have battled numerous bouts of bronchitis and it felt as though my weakened immune system just wouldn’t cut me a break.

I was beginning to question where I would find the strength to keep going.  I want to live, but there comes a time when the “honeymoon stage” of cancer (the first couple of years you are just happy to be alive and you have no idea what the future holds) is over and all I want now is a good quality of life along with survival.

In a few months I will have been in treatment for almost 4 years.  I know this is 4 years I would not have seen in the not so distant past because of the new treatments available to me now.  I thank my lucky stars for this daily.

This being said, I thought I might of used up all my stars, as nothing I told myself was helping me with feeling like crap daily.

Then this thing happened, which actually happens a lot on this path, especially when you think you’re at your breaking point, that gives you Hope.  It can come in many forms.  Mine was a Good Week.

How far can I go?  I’m not sure, I’ve never been tested like this before.  I just know when I think I can’t go much farther and that “thing” happens, my mind, my heart and my soul are there to remind me again…

I CAN GO FAR