My Love/Hate Relationship With Treatment

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There is no doubt in my mind that treatment saved my life, yet at the same time I question if it is also taking it.

I think most of us long term in treatment patients can attest to our love/hate relationship with it.

This past week was a wake up call to how something so invaluable in keeping me in remission has side effects that can also debilitate me.

After going on a much stronger regimen of chemo and steroids I was hit with a backache so severe it sent me to the emergency room where I was first informed through an X-ray that there was a possible leak in my intestine, possibly from it being weakened from steroids.

I was prepped for surgery and was informed after a CAT scan that no hole could be detected, but my hate for steroids and all other treatments took a hold of me and I started to question if I ever wanted to be on them again.

Now days away and home from this experience, I can now see the wake up call that was needed in my treatment journey.

I had become lazy, in denial and so not productive in my own care.  I did not ask questions or raise concerns when my body did not feel right.

The truth is, I need treatment and I have to find a balance between all the medicine that is given, back pain, here’s a pain killer, constipated, here’s some Miralax and find a balance between how I can use alternative healthier ways to deal with side effects.

Some of my best advice comes from other patients and I’m now listening.

There is a gratitude that can’t be denied.  I am so fortunate to have treatments that saved me from cancer and added years that would not of been possible a very short time ago.  I just can’t forget my own treatments and voice and remember that I too have control over what remedies work for me away from the medicine cabinet.

So here’s to future colonics,  a big list of questions for my doctor and a big wake up call that I’m just as important in my own care as the medical experts.

 

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