So here’s the story Doc…
I went off my maintenance chemo for a wee longer than my one week scheduled time off and I don’t want to go back on it.
Let me back up here.
These last few months have seen me getting reacquainted with what I feel like today, not what it felt like a few years back when I was so broken. I’ve always measured today by that time so often telling myself, this isn’t so bad, suck it up, remember what having a broken cancer riddled body felt like?
Quiet, listen, can you believe I did both? And the conclusion I came to were, I feel like crap. No comparison to the past, just today and I knew I needed to make a change.
I appreciate medicine and I know it has saved my life, but the thing about treatment is, we become quiet soldiers doing what we are told. Side effects, those are mostly met with “I’ve never heard that one before” or “everyone is different”. Enough complaining and you will surely be seeing a therapist.
I loved being off treatment, I felt like a new woman free from a daily dose of poison, but reality is, I need some form of it to stay in remission.
Lucky for me there are numerous ones for my type of cancer and last week had me starting a new one that will be injected into my tummy twice a month.
So far I think I can handle the side effects that have come my way, good riddance to that old one that I hope I never have to use again.
I never recommend fooling around with your treatment plan, but I’ve been an obedient soldier ever since the beginning of this journey, so my Doctor gave me grace for going AWOL.
And I think she liked my boots.