Adult

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How do any of us realize our children are adults?  When they turn 18, graduate from college, begin their careers or is it when they marry?

I know exactly when I realized my first born son had became one.  He was a 25 year old long gone from our home, living in Denver, with a wonderful career and life when he received a phone call that his mother was hospitalized with a cancer diagnosis.

I needed him, something I had never experienced as a mom, who always prided herself in being in charge. And he was there.

He was there for his siblings, was a shoulder to lean on for his dad and he was an adult. He stopped his life, ran our home so his dad could be with me and not once made this mom feel like I had to take care of him.

I just spent the weekend with my adult son in Denver seeing how he runs his life and loved every second of our time together.  He really doesn’t understand how much I admire him and how he has lead the way for his siblings, but I will never stop trying to show him.

I have an adult child and two more almost there and now know what it looks like to view my children as all grown up!

 

Face Of Multiple Myeloma

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I remember thinking after I started to get myself back after being ravished by Multiple Myeloma, someday I’m going to walk into a M.M.’s patient’s room and say, “I am the face of Multiple Myeloma”.  I was going to be in remission, looking normal and giving them what was so missing for me, a glimpse of a good future.

Today almost two years after that vision, I walked into the room of a beautiful young woman in the beginning stages of her stem cell transplant, filled with the same fear I had, yet longing for hope.

 I was there to inspire her, yet I gained so much more.  A sisterhood that only we know the language to, a patient who has used her journey to become so educated about our cancer that I’ll surely be asking her for advice and most importantly, the understanding that although neither one of us would choose this cancer path, we have had incredible blessings along the way.

I am the face of Multiple Myeloma.

Behind Every Picture…

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I’ll admit it, before I had a blog or Instagram account, I was the person looking at the perfect pictures of other’s on social media thinking, “Really?  Your life is this picture perfect?”

So let me be perfectly honest with you.  A few hours before this picture was taken above, I was lying in bed, fatigued with a tummy ache and just feeling all around crummy from the side effects of the bone strengthening infusion I had last Thursday.

I get up and get dressed to make myself feel better and it has served me well.  I’ve actually begun to get excited to share with others what cute outfits do for me.

I guess I always missed the point before, maybe all of us are projecting what we really want in our lives in our pictures, our kids smiling, happy and successful, spouses who look like they adore us, friends who are laughing and having the best time with us and the best angle of ourselves.

Behind all my photos I am a woman who does not have a perfect life, but wants to project to you that no matter how I am feeling, getting dressed makes me believe everything will all work out.

Selfie

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My Oncologist walked in the second I took this selfie and I pretended that I was just hanging in her office on the side of the exam table with my feet up on a chair looking at my cell phone.

She’s way too busy to read my blog, right?

Keep Going

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Last Thursday my husband and I left on a trip to Park City, Utah for a wedding.  Still reeling from some some side effects from my last cycle of Chemo and traveling with a husband on a scooter made for a questionable time.

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We stayed in Deer Valley and the weather, scenery and fresh air made me feel inspired to get up each day and enjoy touring around.

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We even took the chair lift up and down the mountain.  We were such a spectacle with the scooter dangling along with us.

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Friday night we snuck away from the rehearsal party and enjoyed a romantic dinner together.

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By Saturday morning I was feeling relaxed, happy and so grateful we took this little adventure together, handicaps and all.

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Saturday evening was the wedding we had come to celebrate and what a time we had.

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Today I arrived home with no question it was so worth any little aches and pains we might of had to overcome.  Once again proving to myself and my followers that cancer, treatments, broken bones and what ever else it is that tries to zap the adventures we dream of taking, can be overcome by our passion to live life to the fullest and in my case, packing a really cute wardrobe to see me through.

One More Pill

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I really try to not count down days, what a waste of every precious one, but this last week has seen me doing just that.

I’m on a 21 day cycle of the chemo pill Revlimid that Doctor’s believe helps keep some of us Multiple Myeloma patients in remission.  I’ll do whatever it takes, but like all medications, there are side effects.

I have learned how keep a few steps ahead of some and use my fashionista skills to conquer others.  I make a commitment to myself daily to put my best foot forward and that’s usually in a cute pair of shoes, but this past week has seen me wearing my heart on my sleeve as well.

I start to use “side effects” for every ache and pain and let’s not mention my mood, surely any swing must be apart of them too!

It’s important to me to share with my followers who are on their own cancer journey how much I understand the balance we must find with the treatments that are saving our lives with how they make us feel and just sharing with you makes me understand why I became The Cancer Fashionista to begin with.

It’s so important we find that thing that pulls us out of our slumps, brings us mental joy when our physical one is weak and to have each other to lean on when others might not understand.

Tomorrow I’m going to be extra sassy, my best defense.

One more pill!