CT Scan, Nerves And My Take On Nurses Shoes

Today I had a CT Scan and I’ve been a wreck all week leading up to it.  Why did I eat that Del Taco yesterday?  Can they tell I’ve been dabbling in the Medicinals a little too frequently?  I have been feeling tired. What was I thinking having 3 cocktails in the past two weeks?  Maybe that pain in my rib area is my gall bladder?  Why haven’t I taken up yoga, meditation, running and eating clean?

It seems everywhere I look there’s media coverage about how you can prevent getting cancer, leading me to believe this must be my fault.  It’s got to be linked to the salami I still can’t stop eating.  I didn’t listen to my body and symptoms once before, should I now be hyper diligent and worry about every ache and pain?  Could I have prevented this?

I really do go about my week with cancer in the background of my life, only being reminded when 5pm rolls around and I take my chemo pill, but when I have an appointment at City Of Hope, I am jarred back into reality and I’m certain that this will be the visit they tell me the bad news again.

Which leads me to this, do you think I could wear these shoes if I were a nurse?


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