I’ve had a few of the ugliest days of my life!
I wish I could tell you that just beating cancer is enough for me, but I’m just not made that way. I’ve spent a life time decorating the outside of me, so I wouldn’t show the public what was happening on the inside and this hair do is just not cutting it. I feel like a second grade friend convinced me to play barber and I now have to live with the consequences for months.
My hope is that someday someone struggling with the effects of cancer will be reading this blog and know I really understand. No matter how many times good hearted folks tell us “who cares, you’re alive”, we hate what has happened to our bodies and sometimes a good ole pity party of ugly strikes us down.
I threw those darn wigs and head covers into the garage saying I was done with them and spent the last few days believing it meant defeat if I dare think about using them again. I sometimes have to prove to cancer that I’m so much stronger than it and it’s not going to take another day from me, but in fact it’s been winning because I’ve felt defeated anyway.
So, tonight I’m going out to dinner a bleached blonde babe again. My husband will be delighted in keeping the fantasy alive that someday I could possibly have hair that looks this way. Surprisingly I don’t feel bad, because a girl can change her mind, right?